I love art, but I am not an artist.
I come from a family of artists, my dad and both of my brothers have enviable talent. I adore my brothers and talk often about how talented they are not because I need to brag but because I am so proud of their work. I also have a few cousins who colored masterpieces on every page of a coloring book, I was the one scribbling outside of the lines and putting colors where they "don't belong." I have a way of going against the grain.
I can recall the moment I learned the color wheel, also color mixing and blending, I remember being taught how everything in the world is a shape, you just have to mimic those shapes in your work to be an artist. I admired my friends who did art, because I wasn't an artist.
Our Elementary school art teacher petitioned for an animation machine and got it. Looking back I chuckle because we have computers now that do the work of that machine in a fraction of the time taking up a tenth or less of the space, but it was really a big day for our art program. He started an animation club that met in the mornings. It alternated with our morning choir and our morning sports programs. We came up with the idea of a reverse zoo. The people were the spectacle, the animals the patrons. I distinctly remember having pride in some of the work I did for our final animation. I loved animation club, but I wasn't an artist.
Later in life I began to really focus on music and theater, I was happy to embrace my artistry through those methods and let the big boys (literally) play with the pencils and paints. I sometimes dabbled in doodles but I never took myself too seriously. I knew that it wasn't my place... as I wasn't an artist.
Years later, jumping way ahead to 2010. I was 23, recently divorced, freshly graduated as an interpreter, saw the world as my oyster. I met my now husband, Ben, an artist (obviously) and he said something that absolutely changed my life forever:
Anyone with a tool is an artist. They just have to believe it.
I couldn't believe it. I knew I could be anything I wanted, except an artist, and here I was with some guy telling me that all along I was wrong...
I would love to tell you that was the moment I picked up a pencil and started practicing art. It wasn't. It takes a really long time to reprogram scripts, and "I am not an artist" was a very well written one in my mind and heart. I definitely putzed around a lot more confidently, though, but I still, in my heart, felt the old story.
It wasn't until my first trip to Wine and Canvas in 2014 that I really saw what I could do. I understand to any serious artist who may be reading this, and even a layman, that learning I could art at a paint and sip may sound hilarious. It kind of is. I think it took me taking the seriousness out of it, and replacing it with fun, for me to really take myself seriously. I accredit some of that to my friend Mary Lee who is an excellent artist and a very patient teacher, who happened to be the first WnC artist I learned from. My mom and I had a blast and within the next 48 hours I had used some of the tricks Mary taught us to create Four more paintings at home. Those paintings are still on our walls.
Over time I went on more paint and sip type adventures and trusted myself more with a paintbrush, and by August 2015 I got the courage to apply to one. I began my work as an artist/assistant at a local paint and sip and saw that whether or not I was a *good* artist, I definitely was an artist. I could copy like the best of them, as was the job at that location, and I was great at giving my patrons the confidence that they could do it too. Who better than me? I had no experience either!
Last year I transitioned to working at the Wine and Canvas that started it all. I am surrounded by brilliant women who have insane skill and I am grateful everyday for the tips and tricks I pick up from them. In March 2016 I got the urge to try drawing and realized I actually can make a picture with a pencil that looks like a real picture. It was one of the most inspiring moments, but they keep happening, and I keep getting more excited with each one.
Manda's Pandas
One day, not that long ago, I was having a chat about how much I love art with a good friend of mine (another artist, of course--I draw them to me like moths to a flame!) I had started a daily art project and he asked me why I don't do more original work, like I had for my bestie Lisa's Birthday in November. I told him that when I do art for other people inspiration strikes me so easily, but when I try to do art on my own, just out of nothing, inspiration is no where to be found, not to mention lack of motivation.
He said (I am paraphrasing) "It is a wonder to me how you have not done a series called 'Manda's Pandas' you love pandas. The VIDEO of you seeing one for the first time is definitely one of the best things I have ever seen."
*insert sigh and eyeroll here*
I said "Haha yeah, I should." But I didn't take him seriously, because I still, even as a person making money AS AN ARTIST didn't believe I had the right to call myself an artist, let alone have some kind of installment/series. There was nothing there and I figured it would fizzle.
NO less than 48 hrs later I was working at WnC and realized that I don't know much about the variety of styles and movements of art. I have an interest in working in different mediums but have no idea where to even start. Thus the birth of Manda's Pandas.
I returned to tell the friend my idea and his first response was looking forward to my Surrealism and Cubism Pandas. He had given me the next piece of the puzzle, How would I know what styles and mediums to try? Ask my loved ones, obviously. I care about what people think, not because I will shape my thoughts and beliefs of myself from them, but because I believe in collectivism. I feel strongly that together we are stronger than we are apart. So I asked my loved ones what styles they wanted to see, what masters they wanted me to emulate.
Hence the Manda's Pandas Project List (in no particular order):
- Franz Marc
- Arles Period Van Gogh
- M.C. Escher
- Monet
- Kandinsky's Early Work
- Pointillism
- Expressionism
- Pop art
- New age Tattoo style
- Surrealism
- Cubism
- Impressionism
I am sure I will add more as I go.
So here we are. Together. This is Manda's Pandas: The Creative Journey of an Amateur Artist. I am an artist, I am learning, and I welcome you to learn along with me. I now believe that anyone can be an artist and I want to explore that further, see where it takes me, maybe in the end I will find a style I love and want to continue working in. Thank you so much for joining me in this journey. I can not do it alone.
<3 Welcome
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